


the empty nests

by seperent



Series: the legacy [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Canonical Child Abuse, Multi, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Protective Siblings, Ursa (Avatar) Being a Okay parent, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, azula looked at canon and set it on fire, azula said no frauds in my palace!!, firenation: but they are babies, gaang is like arriving to overthrow the Firelord and help firenation, he does here actually, no beta we die like ozai should have
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:35:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27262834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seperent/pseuds/seperent
Summary: Azula knows that all actions have consequences — it’s easy that way.The scariest part is when she doesn’t understand what are they going to be.No one hates Fire Nation palace more than its children.
Relationships: Azula & Mai & Ty Lee & Zuko, Azula & Ozai & Zuko, Azula & Ursa & Zuko (Avatar), Azula & Zuko & Gaang (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Katara/Yue (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: the legacy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018383
Comments: 91
Kudos: 353





	1. and leaving us here will be their last regret

**Author's Note:**

> so this is what was living in my mind for a long time  
> I just love my fire babies so much and their sibling dynamics
> 
> at first I thought it was going to be grand one shot but now I feel like there are going to be five (?) chapters
> 
> trigger warnings in the end notes

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ wild honey has a scent — of freedom _

_ dust — a scent of sunshine _

_ and girl’s mouth — of violets _

_ but gold — nothing.  _

  
  
  


There are a few things Azula knows by rote. Sometimes when she is already laying in the dark with her eyes closed it feels like they are printed on the back of her eyelids, blazing brightly. 

Next morning, the sun is going to rise and she is going to rise with it, because that’s how it works, because she is  _ blessed _ . This is a huge gift and she must remember about on every step of life. 

All the actions lead to consequences. That’s also how it works and it’s even more obvious than the first one, because she was taught about it and is being taught everyday. 

Father has huge hands. They can cover both of her hands, or half of her brother’s face — but she doesn’t know about it, not yet, because now she is finally asleep there in the dark, and it’s going to be like that for a little while. 

  
  
  
  


Sometimes, it feels like Zuko doesn’t know  _ anything.  _

He trips, messes up everything, slips hopelessly when doing his katas — the one Azula perfected ages ago, mind it — аnd it feels sometimes like he confuses his own legs. This is annoying. 

Even more annoying is that Mother doesn’t seem to mind it — she fusses about him like he is Such A Big Deal, showering him with her disgustingly weird affection. All she saves for Azula after, are scowls and scoldings. 

Not like she cares, not really. 

On other hand, Father knows Azula is Perfect, and he acknowledges it in the proper way. Azula fights tooth and nail to be perfect, because she knows very well what happens to imperfect. 

(you need to be perfect to be worthy of anything)

Zuko is not perfect. And Father has his ways for that. His grip is tight and fingers can cover a child's wrist easily. When he seizes, you can feel it even in your shoulders. 

Mother always makes such a big deal out of it, and Azula is confused. Actions lead to consequences, that’s what everyone knows, don’t they? 

Zuko was wrong, so he got punished. 

Azula isn’t wrong  anymore , so she doesn’t. 

Is it really that difficult?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Lu Ten is not coming back. 

For a moment Azula feels like there is nothing else left in the world — just herself and her short rare breaths. 

Lu Ten meant gardens in the summer’s nights, dark, intoxicatingly smelling of blossoms and freedom velvet nights, when the wind used to sway near the bare ankles. 

Lu Ten meant lights in the festivals in Caldera when there was so much around that the head spinned in a good way. 

Lu Ten meant piggybacks and those fake fights and shoves in the grass. 

Lu Ten meant reading stories aloud and repeating moments she didn’t catch or liked more than three times. 

Lu Ten meant  _ safety.  _

Azula scolds herself. She doesn’t need it — she feels safe all the time, because she is Princess and firebending prodigy — and she doesn’t need anyone to protect her because she is not weak. 

Especially she doesn’t need protection from the person who knew she  _ hated _ dolls and still sent her one. 

It wasn’t him, but that doesn’t matter anyway, because she doesn’t care. 

Now all that is left from her cousin is his stupid fat useless father, who didn’t even revenged Lu Ten, who just gave up and left, because he is  _ weak.  _

_ She hates him. Why he is the one who is alive? _

_ why she is the one alive _

She spills everything she thinks about her pathetic uncle — Mother is mad but who minds her?

They all act like they have rights to mourn Lu Ten. They don’t. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


So. Zuko messes up again. No one asked him to try to show his firebending — that’s his most common mistake, he can’t learn when it’s deadly dangerous to say a spare word. 

Mother helps him to get up and whispers that he still was really good and she liked it. 

She didn’t even spare a glance at Azula when she finished.

Not like she cares. Father gave her an appreciative nod and smirk. That means she did her best. Azula is content. Mother is still whispering something in Zuko’s ear. 

  
  
  
  


Azula drags Zuko with her behind the curtain because they both are supposed to know what Father is going to say. 

Lu Ten is dead — they are moved closer to being heirs. 

Zuko acts like a whiny baby — someone give this boy his binky finally!

  
  


Azula doesn’t get Father’s actions. He says he can trust her, only her because she always understands what does he mean, but now?

That was disrespectful to Firelord and hastily. 

Did she just say that about Father? Azula gets suddenly scared of herself. Father is right, no matter what. Because if she can’t believe her Father, who can she believe? 

Zuko gets scared and runs away. Azula rolls her eyes, but she is too interested to stay annoyed for a long time. 

GrandFather gets mad, but that’s obvious: didn’t Father himself teach her that actions have consequences? Right now it looks like he forgot about it. 

If Azula forgot about her lessons, she would be punished. 

Oh, so Father gets punished too. 

She is not sure this is really punishment to him — he just bows his head and says:

— Yes, Father. 

When she hears her Father agree with killing her brother something rings in her ears and there are white spots before her eyes. 

Why? She gets so mad at her body and so mad at herself for feeling this weird, she screws up hard and runs. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Zuko doesn’t believe her and starts screaming. That sounds like her brother: illogical and pathetic. 

— You are lying! Azula always lies! Azula always lies!

Mother walks in. That’s when Azula really wishes Zuko stopped throwing tantrums: Mother is going to be mad at her. For what? For running there and telling the truth?

— What happened? What did you tell him, young lady?

Zuko spills everything to Mother. He is hysterical and hiccuping between each sentence. 

He can’t even  _ speak  _ properly. 

Mother starts staring at Azula intensely like she is trying to figure something out in her face. Azula feels unstable because she can’t read her expression at all. 

How she is supposed to act if she doesn’t know what consequences are going to come out of it? That’s weird. 

— I’ll figure it out, Zuko. Don’t worry, my boy: I will  _ always  _ do my best to protect you, because I love you. Remember it. 

She holds his head and kisses his forehead. There is something in her eyes that makes Azula want to hide somewhere in the hole, because she knows, Mother will  _ never  _ look at her that way. So she just stands there in the dark, angry, frustrated and something else that she can’t name, but it stings. 

Mother squeezes Zuko’s hand one more time, gets up from her knees and comes up to Azula. She  _ doesn’t  _ flinch. No. 

Mother takes her hand and Azula is so surprised that for a moment she forgets to pull it out. 

— Come with me, Azula. 

She doesn’t know what to do but follow and when they are in the hallways it’s so dark in there that Azula can’t see tips of her fingers. 

What’s Mother going to do? Is she mad?

Mother gets down to her knees again so her face is on Azula’s level now. She’s never done this before. 

She takes both of Azula’s hands in hers and looks her in the eyes. 

_ Hold eye contact. Do not show weaknesses. Do not be disrespectful.  _

There is something so bizarre in Mother’s eyes she doesn’t get it. Mother hand rubs circles in Azula’s palm. 

— You are great that you have warned your brother, Azula. No matter what, remember: there are a lot of mistakes in a family but none of them are your fault. 

Part of me will always stay here with you. 

Azula’s eyes snap so wide open that she sees white spots before them. Did she hear right?

She is so astonished that when Mother gets up and presses her to herself so hard that it’s impossible to breathe, she doesn’t do anything — she just stares with huge eyes in the dark. Word spins and she can’t find herself to breathe and she should push her away how  _ dare  _ she...

Mother leaves. 

  
  
  
  
  


Azula stands on the huge marble plate and holds her head high. She was put in the white silks in the morning and the wind creeps under her sleeves and collar. 

Something feels very surreal about it: the fires rising to the skies, old senseless men crowning her father, the still warm body of the last Firelord in the tomb, traces of her Mother everywhere and the dead silent crowds of people below. 

World kind of spins around her but she forces it to stay straight. Now the contours of it are too clear and outrighted.

Azula just forces her head even higher and stays there in the cold wind. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Next morning, anything that can remind in any way of Mother gets cleaned out in the big piles. Everything: clothes, books, her annoying huge canvases with weird drawings she used to love so much.

(more than Azula anyways)

Zuko makes a grand show out of that, with crying and snatching Mother’s headscarves and falling. And crawling down the hallways. 

Father is obviously flaming mad. He grabs Zuko’s hand and there is a smell of burning flesh for a moment and then her stupid brother is being dragged somewhere, probably in his room 

Pathetic. 

Really, it is. 

(why is this so unpleasant to watch then?)

Everything about that was stupid. Risking for those dumb pieces of silk — Azula doesn’t even understand the reason behind it. 

Oh. That’s probably because they are Mother’s. She gets it now. 

(would mother do the same thing for her?)

Stil, making these scene in the hallways, right under Father’s nose was so dumb. But that's just all Zuko — he doesn’t think about consequences, never.  _ So pathetic.  _

And he hasn't even really stolen something — Father snatched those damned headscarves out of his hands, tearing them in the halves. 

  
  


Azula spends half an hour just going rounds and rounds, kicking walls. That’s not appropriate behavior for Princess, she knows it. 

Silks and clothes and canvases have probably been burned for a long time already. 

She knows her ways, through the dark hallways. She also knows that no one can hear her if doesn’t want them to. 

There is gold under the burned remains left in the backyard. The dark one their Mother used to prefer over every other jewellery, instructed with stones, clear as tears. There are several hairpins, earrings and ring. They are covered in dark ash, but other than that, jewellery is whole. 

There is something that also catches Azula’s eye: a piece of drawing on the silk, only burnt around the edges. This is her Mother’s hand, she spent the whole summer drawing a mother bear. It used to hang on the wall in Azula’s room, but Father got mad. 

(would mother be okay with losing everything just to protect her too?

she wouldn’t need it anyway. she is not weak)

She takes it with her too and leaves as unseen as she came. She doesn’t really recognise herself — all that risks — for what?

The closer she gets to Zuko’s room, the harder her inner turmoil gets. That’s dumb. 

When she stands in front of the door, her first thought is to leave and throw all those stuff away. 

But then she hears sobs. Of course he is crying. 

She steps in then, and Zuko lifts his head, startled. He probably expected Father. 

— What did you come for, to gloat?

Azula doesn’t know the answer to this, she doesn’t even know herself what she came for and why she came, so she just silently thrust pins out on her hand. 

Zuko has the weirdest face she has ever seen. She doesn’t get it. Is he mad?

Suddenly he is hanging over her and she forgets sometimes, that he really is taller than her..

(and he looks so much like Father at the moment)

She suddenly understands what she did wrong. She just showed Zuko she knows one of his greatest weaknesses — of course he is going to be mad. That was her mistake. She knows there will be consequences. She readies herself for them. She is so overwhelmed by her sudden mistake that thought of fighting back doesn’t even come to her mind. 

  
  
  


Zuko suddenly moves sharply and she closes her eyes and then she can’t breathe, 

because her face is buried into something. Oh, that's Zuko’s chest. 

_ Oh _

Azula’s hands limp by her sides and she doesn’t know what to do at all. That’s a rare occasion. But that’s warm? And kind of safe?

She doesn't know how to act so she just stands stiffly. 

Zuko stands back suddenly, his gaze is on his toes. 

— I’m sorry if you didn’t want me to touch you… You can have half of them. It will be fair. 

He hands out some pins for her — Azula sees clearly that he forces himself to do it. He wants to crawl somewhere and cry over those stupid stuffs. But he still proposed it. She wants to tell him that she doesn’t need them because it’s stupid. 

Azula doesn’t know why it makes her want to cry. She sticks her nails into her palms so she wouldn’t. 

— Mother would want you to have them. 

Zuko is so appalled by her words that his eyes became wide. 

— No, she would want you to have them too!

Azula doesn’t know where to look. No, she wouldn’t. She knows it and doesn’t get why Zuko doesn’t. 

— Do you want me.. Do you want me to do your hair?

Azula holds her breath. 

She should say no. 

Why in the world would she want it? Father would say this is weak. She has servants. Why would she want someone unprofessional to do her hair with some old burned pins?

Zuko stares with huge eyes. He is probably regretting what he’s said. 

She is going to laugh and then tell Father. 

Azula finds herself nodding. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Windows are like nests. There are ones glowing in the dark somewhere ahead, full and awaiting someone. 

There are hundreds of them in a row and each one is waiting for someone. It’s nice to look at them from the outside and imagine that one of them is for you. 

Some are empty, because there is no one left to wait and nothing to wait for. 

  
  
  


Some were empty for so long that the fire inside needs time to catch. 

  
  


Azula doesn’t look like her Mother with her hair out of her face. 

She looks in her brother’s eyes and sees the owner of them. 

She sees  _ Zuko _ . 

  
  
  


The fire in the nest is catching. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings:  
> child abuse, violence, death, self-negotiation
> 
> so  
> if I see one more (1) post about how azula didn’t deserve redemption because she was villain to the core on twitter, I’m going to snap I swear
> 
> like she was fourteen?? taught that each one of her family isn’t trustworthy and she can’t rely on anyone??? currently abused by her father?? do you really think that parent abusing one child can be healthy for other in any way?
> 
> anyways  
> I’m already sorry if found any mistakes — english isn’t my first language at all.
> 
> by the way, I just realised that ursa means mother bear and was like wow
> 
> i will be really grateful if yall have something to say about my work. don’t know when I’m going to post because online school is killing me, but hope soon
> 
> be safe and hydrate yourself!!!  
> love!


	2. tell them who’s in charge so they don’t forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings in the end notes

_ Water — like mignonette. _

_ And like apple — love. _

_ But we have learned that _

__

_ Blood smells only of blood. _

  
  
  


They train together now — so Father can see how their skills develop, so Father can  _ compare _ . 

Azula can’t find herself to concentrate — she is so constantly worried that Zuko is going to mess up. Why is she? This is not her problem. No. 

She is following the posture of his legs with her eyes, when her hand  _ slips _ a little but this is enough for her to notice and even more than enough for Father to notice. He catches her slipping hand. It burns. 

— What are you thinking about, Azula?

His eyes are so dark Azula feels like she can’t blink or she is going to drown. 

She scolds herself and gets ready. That was weak. To get distracted. 

Something falls near her with great noise but she is so concentrated on Father’s eyes she didn’t even see what. 

That was her brother falling out of his katas. Father's eyes go from Azula to him — he is not interested in her at the moment anymore. He drops her hand, but that doesn’t matter, she doesn’t even feel pain behind the huge weight of knowledge — she knows her brother well enough to recognize if the failure is real. 

— Can you be more of a disappointment? You are going to repeat it, and repeat until you get at least something right. 

He lifts her brother by the shoulder, roughly, and for a moment Azula sees sparks on his hand. 

  
  
  
  


Later in her room, in the night, she can’t sleep with a question — why? What was the point of protecting her? 

She is so afraid that she can’t figure out his motives the world chokes her. She needs to ask him and what does she owe him. 

She goes through a few hallways barefoot because she is so distracted she didn’t even think of putting some shoes on. She sways a little bit but reaches her destination at the end. 

She knocks quietly. 

Zuko is sitting on his bed and trying to bandage his shoulder unsuccessfully. He is bent over, trying to reach his shoulder and part of his back. Can’t do even that right, Dum-Dum. 

His eyes flinch at her but then he calms down and his eyes suddenly become  _ warm.  _

(when did his eyes start to get warm instead of alert and wary when he sees her?)

Azula doesn’t know what to do with it. 

She came for an entirely different thing but she asks anyway. 

— Do you need help?

His eyes become even warmer but also unsure. 

— If you can do this. 

She takes the bandages and salve out of his hands and starts to do it. The burn is big and new but she can’t see the bones at least, and that’s already good. 

She is not repulsed by it — she has seen a lot of that on her own arms. 

Zuko hisses and then looks up at her like apologising for weakness. 

Does she find that pathetic? Maybe. She doesn’t show it anyway. There is something else on her mind. 

— Why did you do it, Dum-Dum?

Zuko is silent for a moment. 

— There wasn't a choice at the moment. Just the action. 

  
  


Azula’s eyes burn. Why?

  
  


He takes her hands and bandages them, slowly and properly. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They are dragons of Court — tied up so tightly in dark silks it’s hard to breath, with claws and thorns looking through, little beasts burning so deadly even for themselves, especially for themselves. You can’t hide something like that. Someone like  _ them.  _

Palace is huge and hallways are dark, stifling and swallowing all the sounds. 

They are together against the whole world and it’s unsettling.

When Azula and Father against everything became Azula and Zuko?

They spend hours talking about what they are going to do  _ after.  _ They never talk about what needs to happen before. 

One time, she asks Zuko when he will need her to leave after everything. He looks at her with huge eyes. 

Turns out, never. 

Sometimes, they are sitting with huge dusty maps spread out on the floor and huge plans and Zuko says that they have the whole world at their feet. 

Azula rolls her eyes, but something inside her trembles. She feels dizzy. 

Is the outer world even real? Does something actually exist outside the palace, besides hallways, heat, red silks and Father’s hands?

  
  
  
  


Mai and Ty Lee come more often. Zuko always pushes her to them and tells her weird things like they want to see her. He doesn’t get that people don't want each other, they want what they can give them. 

What Zuko can give her?

(what can she give to zuko?)

  
  


Ty Lee has such huge eyes, unusual eyes, she’s never seen eyes like that. They are enveloping and look like clouds. 

She acts so improperly it makes Azula’s head spin. She jumps around all pinky, sings her strange songs in a floating rich voice and just  _ touches  _ Azula so much she feels something too strong for her to stand straight. 

Azula is sure this is rage and annoyance. That’s why she can’t look at Ty Lee without a deep feeling in her stomach like she is falling?

Mai is something she is used to. But she is not. 

She is impossibly hard to read. 

The deepest emotion she’s seen her showing was the slight bow of her head and huff. 

Mai knows what it is like to hold her head high even when you don't know if there’s going to be something to take the next step on. 

Mai knows what it is like to know that each of your glances will be pulled apart to pieces and judged endlessly. 

They come around a lot because it benefits them. They are building their future. 

(why ty lee’s hands are so soft then and mai’s glances are so piercing?)

She knows that she doesn’t need them. They are useful and that’s it. 

  
  
  


Uncle comes back and he is even more pathetic than he was honestly. He is full of grief, weaknesses and regrets. 

Azula doesn’t have the right for that. 

She knows he is annoying Father and when he revolves around Zuko, Father gets annoyed at both of them. Uncle can handle it, but Zuko doesn’t. 

Azula is so mad. He brews tea and tries to act like nothing is happening, like they are not rotting from inside, like their nation is not rotten. Like if won’t look there, he can’t pretend everything is fine. 

But Zuko gets so disgustingly radiant happy when Uncle is around, like he doesn’t get that Uncle isn’t able to protect. Azula is.

(he wasn’t even able to protect  _ his own son) _

But Zuko isn’t Lu Ten and Azula won’t let that happen to him. 

  
  


He is sent away at the end for a hopeless hunt for an old tale and Zuko isn’t, because Azula knows how to protect hers. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They have a heavy heirloom, it sways behind them whenever they go, restricting movements. It contains generations of blood, pain and pride. 

It’s hard to recognise who she is and what are the shadows behind her, in the mirrors. They follow her everywhere, her heritage, and whisper things in her ears. 

What is real? What is she? Does she even exist without them, without ages full of blood? She was born right in it. 

Does Zuko hear voices? 

he does. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Her eleventh birthday is being planned and everything is crowded with preparations. Firelord is glad to waste his money on his favorite heir, this is a big date, they say. 

Don’t they get this is a feast in time of plague?

There is going to be loads of people and even more possibilities for Zuko to accidentally slip. 

She would protect with her blood — Zuko became her weakness, and there is no choice. 

She chose her brother over everything she has, like Mother once did. 

Runs in the family, she supposes. 

They don’t need to speak anymore — they have quick glances and eyebrows twitches, because walls can talk here. 

She can read him like an open book, she could since a long time ago, when everything was easier, sand was soft, sea was bewitching and Mother’s hairs were like silk. 

She supposes, burnt people don’t have hair. 

But Zuko says, pins look pretty in her hair. 

Jewellery looks beautiful in the tiny light of fire, that's the thing they’ve agreed on. 

  
  


The night before the celebration Mai and Ty Lee spend with her. 

They brush her hair and then Ty Lee sings. 

She knows two things. This is the beginning of the end. 

They will need to leave soon, because it’s not safe. It never has been, but Azula doesn’t need more things to worry about — that pokes her hard under the ribs, how  _ vulnerable  _ she became. 

Tiny fires of candles tremble when Ty Lee’s voice flows around them and lulls Azula to sleep. 

Mai has a special thing with her brother and it stings a little because her brother is  _ hers.  _

Maybe with Mai he will be safe from their heritage. Azula knows he won’t. Mai knows that too. Mai’s nails scratch her scalp a little bit. 

They don’t sleep till the dawn and see the sun rising. The sun of the first day of summer. 

  
  


Servants arrive to prepare her and her girls touch her hand before they leave. They have their own preparations. 

The world around is like behind the veil and she can’t see and hear clearly, probable because she hasn’t slept properly. 

Someone in the mirror looks her directly in the eyes. 

  
  


There are tons of people indeed. They are everywhere in the grand hall and the smirk, and talk, and all wish her things like successful training, well-being and long life. 

all hail the Firelord. 

She is given the rice wine first and she makes the first sip. She drank it before because this is always a part of formal occasions, but it’s still as heavy inside her as it was at the first time. Zuko is near and she feels his presence. 

She forces her head higher proud because pride is all that is left. 

Mai and Ty Lee come to them, after the long, forever dragging line of people wishing her nice things finished. 

One could say they care about her if not for their dull eyes. 

Formal robes choke her a little bit. 

  
  


They can leave now, because people are perfectly content to entertain themselves with vine and fake words. Father is somewhere between them, but Azula can’t breathe here. 

They leave one by one, so they won’t attract attention: first Ty Lee, then Mai, then Zuko and Azula look around to check if anyone is watching and finally leave — girls should be already waiting for them. 

They go through the hallways to the gardens, and Azula craves air, because she can’t move her head in a stiff collar. And then she hears muffled screams, nearly swallowed by carpets. 

Mai is being pressed into the wall by the tall someone — Azula can see his hand wandering and Mai’s legs in the air— and then all that she can see is  _ red rage.  _

She throws herself forward and she wants to fret and fume, but she doesn’t find the object, because Zuko is already throwing fire punches and she can’t recognise his face and his eyes are dark. 

Mai doesn’t move, doesn’t make any sounds, just stares in the dark, quiet and unproblematic, as she was raised. 

Red rage is like a veil behind Azula’s eyes. 

Zuko kicks him with his leg in the face. It’s all red with blood but he breathes. That’s the difference between her and Zuko — Azula wouldn’t leave him alive. 

Mai doesn’t cry until they reach the gardens — Zuko helps her walk, but she wouldn’t look any of them in the eyes. 

Ty Lee was waiting long enough and all that is needed is one look at the Mai for her to understand. 

Mai starts crying suddenly like the dam burst — Zuko holds both of her hands and Azula and Ty Lee put their heads on her shoulders. They sit on the grass for a long time and all know — this is the last night. 

  
  


Next morning Zuko and Azula secretly see Mai, leaving on the metal ship with her family to Omashu. 

Zuko got her long dark knives — Mai whispers something to him. Azula knows they would like to talk without her. She turns around to leave, but Mai catches her hands and squeezes. 

  
  
  


Ty Lee wraps her in the cocoon of her hands, tears and heavy flower scent. Azula has her nose in the crook of her neck and feels something so  _ huge  _ it’s too big for her body. 

— You are going to be the best there because you’ve trained here with me, you heard me?

Azula can’t finish, because her voice suddenly betrays her. 

Ty Lee laughs and her breath tickles her ear. 

Her breath and scent linger with Azula long after. 

  
  
  
  


Then the scariest summer starts. 

She will remember that summer all her life — forever dragging, stifling, dark summer. 

Choking heat intervened with news about rebellions and Uncle’s alliance with Avatar. 

Azula can smell that resolution is close, can smell the coming thunder, but all they have now is the deadly quiet, hot seconds before. 

  
  


The hidden maps are all specked with drafts because Azula has plans and a head too clear for a child. She also knows that half of people here will  _ leave  _ after she comes. 

Zuko asks in a small voice if Uncle can stay. 

Azula breathes and says that he can choose himself, if he wants. He breathes out. 

She trains him like mad, in the farthest gardens, because that’s the only way. He understands that, but still slips in their sessions with Father, because Azula has broad black ribbons on her wrists hiding burnt scars. 

He has a gentle heart and Azula will never be like him. 

  
  


It’s the gentle heart that betrays him. 

Night before Agni Kai Azula is curled in Zuko's bed with the dagger he gave her for her birthday. She will protect him until. 

He still kicks in his sleep like he did when he was four. 

They came to the Agni Kai arena and there is no audience but Father, and the first thing Azula knows — her brother is not supposed to leave it. 

Her eyes darken. 

Everything is so fast because she can’t breathe, and all she can do is stare how Father chases her brother with fire. 

_ Her brother. Her friends. Her nation. Her land.  _

Father aims to her brother’s face and that’s when she gets it — no choice, just the action. 

  
  


Her brother’s face is lit on fire and there is lightning in Father’s heart. 

  
  


Servants arrive and express the joy that assassins didn’t reach the heirs. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Zuko has a huge bandage on his face and is fast asleep. She sleeps in his bed again — after the coronation, second coronation in such a short time — and for the first time, she doesn’t feel anything. Crown is a heavy legacy, but she will help her brother carry it. 

People were still silent, down there — they don’t know what to wait for from them. 

  
  


Azula gets up and comes to the mirror. For the first time, this is her — only her. 

They will be fine. 

— You’re safe now, Zuzu. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings:  
> violence, child abuse, mental issues, sexual assault, death. 
> 
> uh i cried while writing this  
> honestly i was flooded with response to my first chapter i’m so so so happy!!
> 
> tell what do you think about it 
> 
> me:ranting about azula and her story like mad  
> my boo who’ve just asked me what do I want to drink: ok go on
> 
> also, i don’t know about posting schedule, because my that theatre season is starting 
> 
> anyway i’d love to hear everything u have to say about chapter and not about chapter  
> stay safe and stay hydrated!!  
> love


	3. i remember when my heart was filled with gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings in the end notes

Things eventually will get better. But now, they don’t need better — now they are content being able to breathe. 

Azula can’t stand stifling rooms, that’s why windows are  _ always  _ open, because she hates waking up into the heat even more than she hates waking up. That’s why servants are ordered to ventilate all the time, everywhere, because the moment she can’t breathe, her head spins and the world falters. 

She doesn’t get it and it feels mortifying to not be able to stand a little heat living in the warmest nation. 

She doesn’t get what she is afraid of, because she isn't afraid of death. 

  
  
  
  


All those generals suppose that because her brother is young he can’t see their lies written in their faces — all their dreams are money, success, vine and even more money. Zuko handles them himself, some are fired. 

There is another type — and they are cold, cunning and trying to catch her brother on everything: he is young, inexperienced, they would be so happy to help him and of course he needs regent. Those have blood on their hands. They dare to look in Azula’s face and doubt her — she banishes all of them. 

Her brother is fourteen, and she supposes this is illegal for him to be Firelord, but her Uncle is banished somewhere and nothing can really be illegal, if you make the laws?

Generals in the war room talk about war all the time — and they try to get Zuko into continuing it, and Azula isn’t really against world dominance, but now she is happy to survive and the look at their funds makes her cringe. 

  
  
  


In the late night, with cold autumn air going through the window, Zuko brushes her hair — slowly and carefully. He doesn’t look her in the eyes in the mirror. 

— We need to finish the war, it can’t be dragged forever. 

Azusa closes her eyes — it all sounds easy for him. She’s just glad that he didn’t do it himself, having the full powers to do it without even asking it. 

Zuko takes it as a sign of annoyance. 

— Please, Azula — people are on the edge, the nation can’t take it anymore. 

His hands in her hair slow down. 

— It's a long process, and you know it. You’ve seen what’s going on with funds — if we stop abruptly all that fed generations, we’ll walk straight into another crisis. 

Zuko's whole face eases and he nods. 

— I know, we can start from defunding generals — half of them just come everyday to do nothing. 

He finishes with hair and they walk into the gardens, and she notices, because she notices everything — how he strenuously doesn't look at himself in the mirror, but they need to talk about a lot of things. 

  
  


She nearly doesn’t sleep at all, because tons of things need to be done, but also because she can’t — she smells burning flesh all the time in the sleep, and the heat, and feeling of suffocating. 

And the chanting: hasn’t protected, failed, failed,  _ failed.  _

  
  


One of the first things she does — burns the heavy red curtains because she can’t stand them anymore. 

  
  
  


They try training when Zuko starts walking without support, but even before that she knows nothing will work out of that. Zuko flinches even near candles, and maybe she finds that pathetic, but who is talking, she is afraid of  _ heat _ , but mainly she is so mad that he was made to fear his own element, a thing he used to flow so freely in. 

  
  
  
  


But they come to the training grounds anyway, and Azula pushes the feeling of being trapped down inside her. She can handle it, because she is Princess and prodigy. She won’t let any teacher even near Zuko in this condition. 

She proposes to start with breathing exercises so they both get warmed up. 

She starts breathing first, slowly, purposefully

Zuko sits down with her and lights the fire up in his arms. That was a mistake. 

The moment fire is near his face Zuko jumps in the air and tries to throw his own fire away from him. He won’t look at her. She sighs. 

— Let’s try again, this time with…

— No, Azula, we won’t, because I can’t! If you haven’t noticed, not everyone perfected their skills ages ago and maybe if you’d look anywhere beyond your nose you would know that!

She flinches involuntarily when he yells at her and she sees guilt in his eyes, but she also sees fear, and is he crying?

She knows that’s not true, what he’s said, but it still pokes her under the ribs hard. 

— I’m sorry ‘Zula, I can’t, this is too much. 

He still doesn’t look at her. 

Does he think she is going to force him to train with fire? Dum-Dum. 

So she holds her fire out in her palms, with flames small and low, and asks him to hold her fire with her and breathe.

He hesitantly agrees. He knows she can control her fires even in her sleep. 

This feels so weird and vulnerable — to share her own fire with someone, and it feels a little bit like someone is holding her, but she supposes, that’s because the flames are part of her. 

In and out, breathe. 

She does that because having Firelord, who can’t bend is stupid, and she is fed up with him flinching away from fire, no other way. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Azula hides letters, which hide life, happiness and dried flowers inside them. She can’t bring herself to burn them after reading like she did before. She knows she is weak and this is perfect way for someone to reach her — through Ty Lee, but her scent still lingers on the paper and Azula rereads each one in the nights, in her worst nights — about circus, and dancing under the ceiling, and bears, and about people eating fire and how there are  _ thousands  _ people watching her every night. And also there are firebenders, but none of them is as good as her princess, she says. When Azula reads about that something inside her a little bit dizzy — of course she is the best firebender, but why are her ears hot?

They can’t speak about anything really because Azula is sure someone is looking through her mail, so they write about nothing at all, but also about everything. 

But when news about dead ruler are everywhere, Ty Lee asks — is she training with her old teachers, Azula says no, and that’s enough for both of them. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They decide to start defunding slowly. Azula is like a shadow on every meeting her brother has, beside him.

It should start carefully, first the army and the farthest colonies, because if they do it the other way the whole economics built on war would fall. 

When Zuko says this, generals are discouraged. 

Turns out, people are grumbling and complaining everywhere, because they don’t have enough money to feed their families. It’s not their fault of course, Firelord and his main advisor are just incompetent, generals say. They just need a good regent and some help. 

After, in the evening, Azula is mad and Zuko is a disaster. He stares at her with huge eyes and asks if he is a horrible firelord. As if she would let him be one. 

— We are going to see ourselves, how the city is and how the people are. 

  
  


Azula lets her hair down and wears a plain dark dress. Zuko pulls the hood down and they look like a pair of children of war. How low did she fall?

She takes her knives and sees her brother hiding two long swords behind his back. They are not safe in the palace, safe isn’t even a word, but outside?

When was the last time they were let out of palace grounds by feet? She can’t remember. 

They sneak out through the windows and gardens, dark and unseen. 

Caldera’s centre is still buzzing like it was when she’s been there with Lu Ten. He used to lift her up when she couldn’t see something from the counters and smile, and his smiles cleared the way everywhere they went, because the nation  _ adored  _ their boy. 

Everything here screams life, and everything here breathes, crowded. It feels like a huge hive. People yell, and talk, and sell and trade, and just  _ live.  _

But they also are poor. Zuko comes to the vendor — she’s selling huge, dark-ruby pomegranates — and buys one for Azula. While they wait, they hear women discussing dead husbands, being unable to work and hungry children. 

If her nation is hungry — her nation is weak. 

She peaks pomegranate’s seeds while they go back. 

They can’t finish the war from the middle, but they can start from the war generals. 

Next morning, the law is ready — Zuko announces about reducing generals and using the resources for the pension fund for families who lost their wage workers. 

It will be a long and messy process, with population census required, but this is a start. 

Azula starts a long negotiation by letters with the Earth king. 

  
  
  
  
  


Mai tells her about her brother, little and annoying, and Azula writes — yeah, that’s usually how brothers are. 

  
  
  
  
  


She can’t see plates being carried to Zuko without shuddering, because this is the perfect way to get to him — this scares her so much, she barely stands not pushing his plate away from him. So she tries food from it every time before him. Her brother understands, and that’s why he takes hers to try. 

This is their little ritual, just to know — safe. 

Azula notices that her brother can’t eat very soon, because that would be impossible not to. He just sits staring into his plate, like waiting for his food to escape and spare him from this suffering. She also quickly learns that he can’t eat when someone is looking at him. So she dismisses everyone, every time, hoping he would eat at least  _ something.  _

— You can’t just send away a full plate every time, Zuzu. 

So he suddenly just starts crying and ranting about not being able to eat, when there are their people hungry in the streets and she is teared between rolling her eyes and crying herself, because  _ Dum-Dum _ ..

  
  
  
  
  


Staff are wary around them — that’s good, because they annoy the hell out of Azula, with walking around her like on eggshells. Like waiting for her strike — she does enough of that herself. 

Zuko is also scared when people are scared of him — she knows he feels like someone is standing behind him, tall and looming, too. He tries so hard to be calm around servants and Azula can’t break that down to him — they will be afraid of you no matter what — but that will also break him. So she patiently waits while he talks to maidens and asks their names. 

So when that dumb girl drops cups on the floor before Azula all she does that rolls her eyes, because her brother is already beside girl helping her with shards and she can’t even burn her because person who used to burn people is really bright before her eyes. 

And she doesn’t get when that happens, but someone starts sending her brother food in the rooms where no one can see him eating besides her in the night and someone is always ventilating her rooms before she comes and makes sure it’s always cool there. 

  
  
  
  
  


The news that Uncle is returning come to her much earlier than Uncle himself. 

  
  


Something inside her rings — why does he think he can return? Did he forget that he is illegal or he is hoping that if Zuko is reigning now he would be magically taken back? She turns to Zuko, awaiting puppy happiness, but he is wary and reserved too, they don’t know what to expect from Uncle. 

He can try and claim the throne because Zuko is underage, and the Firelord who banished him is dead now.

They’ve just felt what it feels like — to breathe, without someone standing behind and controlling every breath, counting. It will be so painful to lose something they’ve already had a taste of. 

  
  
  


They come early in the morning and the guards ask — let them in my Lady? — and then they are in the main hall, standing before her brother on the throne and her beside him. They wear the most formal robes, ones that hide Azula’s hands and Zuko’s shoulders, dark, dense clothes. 

She forces her chin higher.

This is a strange group of people, children, but Azula knows one thing — never underestimate. Two dark-skinned and dark-haired peasants angry glaring at her, a tiny girl and a strange bright boy. She looks at them — the first people near her age she’s seen in a long time. And understands suddenly how painfully  _ hard  _ she misses Mai and Ty Lee. 

And then she sees Uncle. Something from another life. She feels Zuko tense beside her. 

He looks at them, has audacity to smile and says. 

— Would you both like to join me for a cup of tea in private? 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: ptsd, eating disorders  
> i feels like vibes are a bit off and i worry about posting it but anyways.  
> my semester just ended and it was nervous af but thank yall so much for all those kind words!!  
> next chapter summary:  
> zuko: u know azulas at very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind  
> gaang, still young and full of hope: boys???  
> azula: homicide. 
> 
> also:  
> azula+mai+healthy family = wednesday addams
> 
> tell me everything you have to say about chapter and not about chapter  
> stay safe and hydrate yourself!!  
> love


	4. i got the moon watching over me when i sleep

First thing Katara remembers is white. It’s everywhere, starting from her cradle, made of whale’s bone to her mother’s wide smile. 

Nights where she was born lasts for half of a year, but even then it’s as light as a day, because when you walk outside snow is sparkling, so bright eyes hurt and crunches underfoot. 

Then Katara remembers her mother — when she was younger, she used to call her Ma, because it was much easier to pronounce for her, still babbling. 

Mother had the softest hands in the world and a pretty necklace which attracted Katara’s hands and eyes all the time, like a magnet. Mother said when she grows up, she is going to wear it. 

  
  


Then Katara remembers dismissal. It’s a feeling following her through her whole childhood. Turns out, she can’t play a soldier in her brother's games, because she's a girl. She is mad, because she wants to play. Sokka is thinking for a moment, then comes out with a decision — she can be the mother, waiting for her sons to return from war at home with a meal. 

She doesn’t want it. She tells the whole world about it with a loud cry and she is so mad, and then Sokka has snow all over his face. She can’t remember throwing it. 

  
  


Next time when Katara feels it, it’s when father is taking Sokka on the week hunting trip. She used to go with them all the time, when they went fishing for a few hours, and used to catch more fish than Sokka, because water seemed to respond to her will and fish was just waiting for her to take it. 

Dad says she can’t go.

She is torn between throwing a tantrum and throwing a huge pile of snow at them. 

She does both, but still stays home. 

Her mother tries to cheer her up and shows her the blanket she is sewing. Her hands make a beautiful pattern and Katara is enchanted, but there is still that feeling inside of her. 

  
  
  


Then white goes and black comes. When she’s thinking about it, it feels like a weird, feverish repetitive nightmare from the past, but this is real. 

She remembers the smell of burned flesh, people in scary masks everywhere, and feeling like she’s being chased. She doesn’t need to remember her mother’s body — it’s clear as a day before her every time she closes her eyes. She remembers burning hate inside her. 

That’s where childhood ends. Dad is distant, and this is weird, because Dad used to pick her up and spin, and tell her stories about ocean creatures and make her laugh. Now he sits for hours staring at the walls and Katara tries talking to him, and crying, and begging, but it’s like he doesn’t hear her. 

Her Gran Gran spends all of her time taking care of Dad and seriously, now chronically injured people after the raids. 

She leaves early in the morning and comes back in the night. Sometimes she cooks something before she leaves, but Katara sees that she is being torn and won’t last like that. 

She feels hunger nearly everyday, deep inside her stomach, sharp and painful. It’s the middle of the day and she isn’t even trying to get an answer from Dad, so she takes her brother who is trying to play an adult, her little sleigh she got for her last birthday and they go to the ocean. 

Katara remembers her Ma saying — no matter what, the ocean will protect you and help you. She comes to it and immediately feels better. Everywhere she looks is water — dark, deep, flowing. She feels so small near it, and incredibly safe, like it’s an animal, huge, but kind. 

Her brother doesn’t feel the same way, but he understands, and she is so grateful she has him, even if it feels sometimes like she’s not. 

They try fishing on the shore, and it takes a long time to even catch something. She feels cold, Sokka becomes annoyed because he isn’t succeeding, so she tries to call the ocean, and the ocean answers, because it can’t not answer its children. 

They put their small catch on Katara’s sleigh and take it home. Katara tries cooking it like Ma taught her, but it’s hard to keep track of the soup she’s doing, so she asks Sokka, and he is complaining because it’s “not a work for a man”, but she makes the deal clear: he’s not helping — he’s not eating. 

They eat, then try to feed emotionless Dad and leave some for Gran Gran. 

She comes home late in the night and starts crying. Katara doesn’t really get why, and won’t get for a long time, but now she’s just scared a little bit. 

Time flies, and Katara raises herself and her brother, and maybe she is succeeding, and maybe not, she can’t tell. Dad is lost in his grief, and she has no right to, so she cries silently in the night and it already feels like too much. 

She starts wearing Sokka’s old parkas, because Gran Gran doesn’t really have time to make another for her. She just alters them a little bit and suddenly discovers how much more comfortable to run in them. People in their village look at her, weirded, but it’s not like she cares — she has a family to take care of. 

The ocean calls for her every night and it’s hard to resist it, and she doesn’t want to. That’s the reason she can finally breathe again, her window from the chores her hands too small for. She speaks to the ocean, tells it her little news and her joys and sorrows and feels better. Katara bends like she breathes in nights like that, because the ocean is her teacher. 

She’s got stars and the moon watching over her when she sleeps. 

  
  


Spring comes, and then another, and things get better. Dad comes alive slowly and leaves with warriors. Sokka misses him deeply and is sad, because he wasn’t taken with him, but Katara feels relieved. She knows it’s wrong, but she can’t help but feel mad, so mad. They lost two parents, not one, when their mother died. She will forever remember this feeling — when you have only yourself to rely on. 

  
  
  
  


One day they are fishing deep in the ocean, and Katara breathes. Sokka suddenly spoils everything — the main thing they argue about all the time is that he had the audacity to forget how Dad left and how hard it was for them. She wants to push him in the water, and water nearly nearly swallows him, because it can feel when Katara is mad. 

She drives their boat to an iceberg — if he is that powerful and manly, then he can find his way home himself. 

They start to push each other and she can’t really remember at what moments the iceberg cracks, because it’s all like blur. 

They find the boy and Katara immediately feels bad for him, because he’s there alone and has been for a long time, and she can’t let any child rely just on himself, so they take Aang to the tribe with them. 

Aang is like a fresh breeze for their tribe and Katara genuinely hopes that he will be able to stay. 

  
  


And they come for him, a large black ship, all sharp angles, like they came for Katara’s mother, but she is not a helpless little girl anymore. She feels sick and wants to cry and hide, but she can’t. She is against them being here and the ocean is against it. So they work together — they just don’t let Fire Nation to land; they stay freezed near the shore. She is planning for them to stay there. 

Old, short man comes on the deck without the armour and bows, low. He speaks about coming with peace and asks for a negotiation. Katara is torn between letting the ocean swallow him and hearing him out. She chooses the second, even if Sokka yells at her that she went feral and Aang looks really scared. She just gives one condition — old man goes alone. 

When he steps on the land, Katara is suddenly afraid that she’s miscalculated — from here, the old weak man is gone and she sees the general, carrying himself with power. He starts speaking. 

His name is General Iroh and he is brother of the Fire Lord. 

Katara feels weak to the bones — how foolish was she? Sokka feels the same: he runs at the general with his boomerang, but he catches it. 

— Please, young soldier, let me finish. 

He is banished and he wants to help the avatar to master the four elements and end the war. Katara is confused — avatar? But Aang’s face speaks for himself. Katara feels betrayal, joy and everything at once. 

She can’t really trust General, but Aang’s already agreed and is packing to leave. Katara can’t stay upright, but also she can’t stay there on the pole. 

So she decides to go with them to make sure nothing happens to him. Sokka thinks she is a fool, but he can’t let her go alone. 

  
  


They leave on the bison — a weird company: bald boy, old men and two children. General immediately brews them some tea and tells them to call him Uncle. If this is fire nation strategy, it’s weird, Katara thinks. 

She feels so good, in the skies between the moon and the ocean, hugged by them from both sides, so good she feels like she is going to cry. 

They go through the Earth Kingdom, and there is so much Katara’s never seen, so much green, brown, she feels dizzy. But that’s not already that good — she’s never been that far from the ocean. She still wakes up every night for its call, but it’s far away. So she talks with the moon how they both miss the ocean. 

She tries teaching Aang water bending while they are looking for an earth bending teacher, but it’s impossible. She can’t explain how she is doing it, because she is waterbending like she breathes, on impulses. That just led to a fight and offended Aang. 

It’s also hard with firebending, because he has no patience. But Iroh is unexpectedly kind, calm and patient. It looks like he’s experienced with kids, and Katara suddenly remembers Fire Lord has two heirs. What are they going to do with them?

It’s clear that Aang will need another waterbending teacher when they run into a little girl, looking completely wild, dirty in the forests. First thing she does is bury all of them in the piles of rocks and Katara feels completely helpless. 

Her name is Toph, she is blind and she is on run. But it’s not like they really have a choice, so Toph and Iroh train Aang and all of them are looking for a decision — where he can learn waterbending? 

One night they sit near the campfire and Sokka asks:

— Why do you fight against your own brother?

It’s an insensitive question, Katara thinks. If he does, that means he has a reason. Toph answers instead of Iroh. 

— Fire Lord is creepy — they say every morning he forces his children to fight in the arena until one of them is out and he is looking at that. 

She is clearly planning to scare Aang and Sokka, but Iroh is one who is scared. His whole face is white and he is silent for a long time. 

— Ozai is a cruel and ruthless ruler and a threat for everyone. 

That’s all he says in the evening and retreats in his tent very soon. 

Katara is dizzy — she can’t really imagine having Fire Lord in her fathers. But maybe, his children match him, she scolds herself. 

  
  
  
  


They leave for the North Pole and Katara embraces the ocean again, like an old friend. She’s also embracing the thought of properly training — one of her main dreams from childhood. The closer they get to the Pole, the closer the full moon is and the harder is for her to sleep. But she’s not tired — in spite of war, she feels like something light and huge ahead, something for her. 

They arrive in the morning, to the huge gateways made of ice. Two dozens of waterbenders are needed to open them and everyone is welcoming the Avatar, but Katara can’t look at them, because the only thing she can look at — the girl sitting in the main boat. Static, chin high, her beautiful, rich-brown face is unreadable, and white, white hair, like the white of Katara’s childhood. She feels a tiny tug in her stomach and like she is going to cry right now, but also she looks at the regal girl's face and feels like she came home. 

The city is full of water and feels like a dream. But the dream ends when the Chief says — the war meeting is open only for men. Her and Toph are politely proposed to wait outside, near the doors with refreshments. Toph goes feral, because she can’t really see through the snow, and Katara feels dismissal again — but now she is not going to tolerate it either. She feels everyone’s glances at her — in her brother’s old hunting parka, her hair in the mock wolf-tail she put them into in the morning for the training, eyes not on the floor, like women there stay. 

She forces her head higher and looks the old men saying she is not enough because she is a woman in the eyes. 

— You either let all of us inside, or none. 

She is supported by Iroh, Aang, and suddenly, her brother, she and Toph walk into the meeting. Katara feels the princess's eyes hot on her back, following her into the doors she is not permitted to enter. 

The Northern Water tribe doesn’t want to interfere in war, like they didn't want to help their sister-tribe before, and that makes Katara so mad. 

  
  
  
  


In the evening they’re having the huge dinner with the Chief and his daughter 

Princess Yue sits near her and Katara is fascinated by her — the way she speaks, eats and nods her head a little bit. 

Then students of master Pakku show off their bending, and Katara is more than interested, because it’s so much different from hers — their movements are sharp and strict, not out of instinct like hers. Yue whispers her in the ear:

— Can you bend?

Katara can’t stay focused on whatever she’s said because the princess's breath is still hot on her ear, but she nods. 

— That’s so cool! They don’t even let me try — say it’s too dangerous for me. 

The same feeling burns so hard inside Katara, but now — for the princess. 

  
  
  
  


In the morning, Katara and Aang arrive at the training fields, and she immediately realises something is wrong. There are only the boys, and all of them are older then Sokka — all of them look weirdly at Katara, still in her parka. 

  
  
  


Master Pakkuku says she can’t train. Master Pakku says she can't train and she’s on.y enough for the healing huts. 

So she calls him out on it before his Chief and princess. 

— You think I’m not enough for training? You think you are better than me? Fight me then!

Even now, he still treats her like a little naive girl. She’ll make sure he will never make the same mistake again. 

Yue’s beautiful dark eyes don’t leave her even for a moment. 

  
  
  
  
  


Katara comes to talk with the moon and the ocean again that night. It’s nearly full and so sweetly inviting. 

That’s where she meets Yue — looks like she’s been crying. 

— Are you engaged too? 

Katara is startled by the question. 

— What do you mean?

— Your necklace. 

— No, that’s my Mother’s. Wait, are  _ you  _ engaged?

Yue hides her eyes. 

— That’s for my people. They need this alliance. 

— Why do your people care who you are going to marry? It would be much better if they cared for women not permitted to learn waterbending. 

Yue is silent for a moment. 

— How are you so brave? You travel around the world with the Avatar and call out half of the nobility here, and you speak so loud…

Yue is crying again. 

— How can I be scared of anything when the ocean watches over me when I walk and the moon watches over me when I sleep? You and me, we never walk alone. 

She repeats her mother's words and cries herself, because Yue feels like a part of her, but there is a pendant on her neck and tears on her face. 

Yue leans and kisses her, and she feels the salt of the ocean on her lips and the moonlight on her fingers, but also she feels like everything is right. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


And then everything is black again. Yue is laying in her arms, because she hasn’t protected her, like she hasn’t protected her mother. 

She smiles at her and reaches her fingers to her face. Katara leans in, ready to give her whatever she wants. 

— Don’t cry. Remember, what you told me? I will always watch you — lift your eyes to the skies, and I’m there. You and I, we never walk alone. 

She gives her last kiss and Katara’s hands are empty. 

  
  
  


They stay for a few more to mourn with the princess’s family, but to Katara it feels like hypocrisy — she knows Yue isn’t gone. She feels her in the snow, in the ocean’s depths, in the little fishes poking their heads out of water to say hi to Katara. 

That’s when news come — the Fire lord is dead. Assassination. Chief Arnook celebrates, and Katara supposes she should be happy too, but the worried face of Iroh disturbs her. 

Fire lord’s son is being crowned. 

  
  
  


They travel there as fast as they can, and Katara doesn’t understand for what — Aang hasn't mastered fire yet, and earth is still hard for him, but it looks like Iroh is not planning to dethrone his nephew. How old is he if gets crowned and why Iroh thinks they will be able to agree on something? Katara’s learned already that Iroh is the only one exception from the rule about bad firebenders. It looks like new Fire Lord is not planning to end the war. 

It still takekes a lot of time to reach Fire nation, and it overwhelms Katara — it’s hot, and loud, and so beautiful it’s hard to breathe. She understands now why Iroh missed it so much. 

They wait near the palace, for permission to enter, and Katara gets more annoyed with each minute. Who are they if they think that the whole world can wait for them?

When they are finally let in, she is dizzy. The palace is full of huge canvas, red silks and gold. While the whole world is dying in poverty, they live here in the gold and silks. 

In the hall there is a huge throne, but no wall of fire she’s heard about. On the throne sits a thin boy of Sokka’s age. Katara feels sick — he has a huge burnt scar on the good part of his face, covering his eye and ear. He is unnaturally straight and scowling. 

Close to him is a girl — Spirits, even younger. She looks exactly like the boy, minus the scar and she is looking at them like they are prey. Katara is mad and sees red before her eyes. Did they make them wait for her to lay her hair?

She remembers thinking Iroh carried himself with a power — everything about these children screams  _ danger.  _

They are wearing stiff dark clothes, with collars and long sleeves, both in the full armour, and she can’t even imagine how they stay like that in the choking heat. 

Iroh is calm and smiling, and that makes Katara so mad, because is he thinks they will be able to have negotiations with  _ them _ ??

  
  


— Would you both like to join me for a cup of tea in private?

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: misogyny  
> gaang is here!  
> there isn’t a lot of fire sibs in that chapter so if you want more of them you can check out other work from this series
> 
> katara story is deeply personal for me also im a sucker for yuetara sorry not sorry
> 
> thank for reading, and if you have something to say about the chapter, or not about the chapter, please write it, i’d be really glad to read and answer!!  
> be safe and take care of yourself please!  
> love


	5. they say i came from money and i didn’t even have love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings in the end notes

How bold of him. 

She feels Zuko beside her tense, and she understands he is in no condition now to answer. 

_ Look straight into the eyes; show no disrespect and fear; _

Annoyingly chirpy boy one look at whom gives her migraines starts rumbling:

— Hi, my name is Aang, and I’d like to..

She stops him with the wave of her hand. 

Azula looks at the attendant standing lower than her, by protocol. He is okay, and doesn’t annoy her, and most importantly — just keeps silence.

He jumps up, startled and announces with trained voice:

— His Majesty, the Fire Lord Zuko, and her Highness, the Crown Princess and the First advisor Azula, bless Agni their reign, the honoured descendants of Agni, grandchildren of Azulon the Great and children of the departed Princess Ursa and the Firelord Ozai, may they rest in peace, have the opportunity to host you at four o’clock or at seven o’clock. 

  
  


Peasant girl sneers, looks at Azula and blurts out:

— You’re going to host us _ now _ , or going to regret it!

_ Show no weakness _

It’s even funny. 

— We have time at four, and at seven. Do I need to spell it out for you?

It’s against the protocol, but that’s so  _ satisfying.  _

Girl becomes very red and Uncle looks really uncomfortable. 

— You can join us now, at the dining hall, so we can have the things done faster, if you prefer. 

Dum-Dum. Is he planning to eat in front of all of them? Is he literally just inviting the people who want them dead or out of the country, or probably both to have a meal with them?

Azula doesn’t let any of these thoughts slip in her schooled expression, gives a small nod and a wave of hand to her attendant. 

— Make sure cooks know we have guests today. 

The faster they sort it out, the faster all of them leave. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


She feels incredibly sick when she goes to the dining hall. Azula is mad at her body for this betrayal. This is her home. She won’t let anyone force her out of it. 

She wonders again what uncle wants out of it — he didn’t need the throne before he left, does he need it now?

Azula arrives first, then Zuko sits near her. He keeps his posture straight and face blank, but she can see how he’s gripping the sleeves of his robe. She starts breathing louder so he’ll be able to catch up and calm down. 

He does but only a little. 

She breathes in and out. This is the perfect way for them to study their opponents — even if they look like dumb children, she’s nearly sure it’s a trategy — no one really comes to the war acting like that, what do they do in the spare time — play games and tell stories?

They come in, accompanied with the servants she sent for them and Uncle. He didn’t need a servant of course, to find his way. Peasant girl sneers and pushes a maiden away. 

— Hands off from my servants. 

Girl looks at Azula, nearly fuming — she finds it useful and interesting how fast she can be pissed off — the worst quality for a politician. 

They all sit at the huge table at the dining hall. Her and Zuko rarely eat there when they are alone, preferring closed rooms or the farthest private gardens - they both remember too well meals here with Father, when the amount of the food they eat was compared to the way they train. 

She sees Zuko staring at his yet empty plate, panicked. It’s going to be even rougher for him. 

Uncle is staring at them like it’s the first time he sees them (waiting for them to slip, to fail, waiting for  _ her  _ to fail)(she protected Zuko, he didn’t). 

Avatar looks at her hopefully and smiles — what trick is this? Weird strategy, but maybe the monks taught him the other way. 

Peasants look uncomfortable, the dirty child looks too comfortable, picking her nose. 

  
  


She’s heard of her — the daughter of old money. Beifongs were rich even before her ancestors came to reigning. Like Mai is — but that child hasn’t got the way she speaks, her neck and shoulders, Mai’s posture. Yet you can still see it in the way she holds her head, in the way her hands move, when she forgets about them. It’s hard to hide and impossible to unlearn, no matter how much she would coat herself in the dirt. 

Everyone is silent — Azula supposes, Uncle has enlightened them about Firenation etiquette: not starting the negotiation until the first blade is served. Well, at least something. 

Servants carry the plates in and she’s hyper aware of Zuko tensing near her. He starts speaking, like the Firelord. 

— I’d like to start with the clarification of the occasion of your visit. 

It’s his polite way of asking — the hell you came here for?

Avatar jumps up, clearly content to being able to speak — his bright robes and eyes are irrelevant here. 

— We and your uncle talked, and now because he’s back, he can take the throne so you no longer have to reign!

Azula can push the fierce away and hear the threat in it — the moment they are off the throne, the moment they are not significant anymore, they are banished or dead. 

She makes sure to keep the face and voice cold and polite. 

— There clearly has been misunderstanding — retired General Iroh is in no position for reigning, nor legally, nor physically. 

She doesn’t look at his reaction at her cold remark. 

Peasant boy starts talking, clearly trying to imitate her brother’s professional, emotionless tone — in vain. Azula feels a sting of pride. 

— You’re clearly not able to handle this position — look at the situation with war, why haven’t you ended it yet?

Does he think war ends with one word and one letter? She was trying to reach King Kuei for a month already, his substitute keeps answering, and she already knows it’s not as clear as it seems. 

— War has been feeding our nation for ages and it's not that easy…

Peasant girls jumps up and barks at them:

— Your people are dying, starving on the streets in the colonies and you’re never going to eat half of the food you have here, what in the world are you talking about feeding your nation?!

Zuko near her startles, swallows painfully, trying to prevent nausea. Suddenly, glass in his hands bursts, overheated, and gets up, excuses himself and runs away, like he’s nine again. 

— You’re going to apologise!

She’s up, hissing at the dumb girl and leaves. 

That was one of the most unprofessional meetings she’s ever had. 

  
  


Then she holds her sniffling brother, who’s already back from vomiting and feels she’s going to kill someone. 

  
  
  
  
  


Uncle comes to her rooms late in the night. Zuko is sleeping, plastered on her bed, tiring out completely with all the nerves of today. 

She’s fifty percent sure he didn’t come to assassinate her. 

He makes a proposition — for her to declare Avatar and his companions their guests and starts official negotiations about ending the war. 

Azula is so tempted to say that she’s not planning to end the war, just because, but she's already promised it to Zuko. 

Uncle is smart, that’s why she doesn’t trust him. 

She agrees, but it looks like he’s still not planning to leave. He has the audacity to ask her about Father. 

She snaps, not afraid to wake Zuko up. 

— Get out!

  
  
  


Letter comes, and Ty Lee announces her arriving in Caldera — every of her fingers tremble. She doesn’t need to reserve any places, all Azula needs is to come in and she will get the best ones, but she needs something for her hands to do, so she just rereads each of her letters. 

  
  
  


Ty Lee didn’t exaggerate even for a bit — pavilion  _ is  _ huge. 

They arrive in a palanquin — she is fumbling with her sleeves and Zuko is amused. She wants to smack him for it, but she’s too busy with overthinking. 

Peasants and the Avatar come by themselves, and Azula is mad for a moment — what are they trying to prove? That’s no one in this country wants them dead? Well, that’s already not true. Then she calms herself down — that’s not about them, today is not about them. 

Is  _ all  _ Caldera here?

It definitely looks like it is.

  
  


They are being led into the main box, and she would thought it’s supposed to be private, and closed, but no, it’s just in the middle. 

People keep coming. 

She’s wearing silks today (again), and she forced the girl to redo her hair at least twice — of course she wants to look presentable, all her people are here today. 

Avatar and his companions are being seated with them, and what in the world do they think of themselves?

today is not about them. 

  
  


Lights go out, and performance starts. 

They are sitting high, near the ceilings and she can see everything in full view. 

It drags and drags, with animals, dancers and fire-eaters Ty was talking about. 

Avatar beside her squeals at everything, and peasants are amazed too — of course they are. 

Azula grips her brother's hand, hard — such a public’s display of affection is very unusual for her, but it’s dark and she’s so nervous she’s going to faint. 

  
  
  


And then she’s  _ in.  _

And suddenly Azula can’t look anywhere else, because Ty Lee is better, lighter, prettier than anyone present here. 

She nearly flies under the ceiling, looking like exotic butterfly, with the gems on her wings glowing in the dark. She’s light as the flame and Azula can see her so clear it hurts. She can’t tear her eyes from her, and she wonders if Ty Lee knows she’s here, if Ty Lee knows she's looking…

_ she knows _

She catches her glance once — only once, intense and stumbling, just like she remembers, shudders. And then Ty Lee keeps throwing herself. 

Azula hears the peasant boy gasp, but how can she think about anyone when Ty looks at her  _ like that? _

  
  
  


She doesn’t catch another breath until Ty leaves from the scene. 

  
  
  


Azula is leaving as soon as the lights are on, hurrying through the crowds — peasants behind her talking how they’ve enjoyed everything, forgetting the fit they’ve thrown before and that there was only one person there worth watching — how childish of them, but she doesn’t pay them any attention. 

  
  


And then she’s in the rooms where artists change, and it smells like animals and sweat in there, but she couldn’t care less, like she couldn’t care that being here is inappropriate for a princess — Azula doesn’t remember her own name at the moment. 

Then she sees her. 

Ty is a hurricane of bright clothes, half-done make-up and tears when she throws herself at Azula, and Agni, she even smells the same. 

Then Ty steps back, peeking at her from under her lashes, suddenly shy. 

Azula leans in. 

— You were gorgeous. 

Ty is as red as the sun itself. 

  
  
  


She leaves with them in the palanquin, never dropping Azula’s hand. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s so different with Ty Lee back here — Azula would say it feels like she’s a child again, but Mai is still somewhere, and she’s never been a child. 

They spent all night talking, three of them, and she knows that Zuko now misses Mai even more painfully. 

Ty spends a good fifteen minutes crying over the scar, clinging to Zuko’s shoulder and they both don’t know what to do with that, but he eventually carefully hugs her back. 

It’s okay while they are here, where no one sees them. 

Azula wants nothing more in the morning than just eating here in the rooms and going for a quiet walk in the gardens, but Zuko and her have training and few meetings with the council — and then, the one with Avatar. 

Zuko leaves in the early morning to get ready for a day and she looks hesitantly at Ty Lee — does she want to go to her old room and the maidens come and get her hair done?

But Ty just takes the brush out and gives it to Azula. 

Her fingers tremble while she runs them through Ty’s long hair and carefully braids them, not even caring to breath. 

  
  
  


Azula comes to the training grounds, Ty Lee is babbling in her ear about the new techniques she wants to show her. Zuko follows her. They are in much lighter clothes, the ones that have their arms open, because no one really comes here, since they train by themselves. 

Fatal mistake. 

What Avatar is doing here? Does he think he can go anywhere in her palace?

— What are you doing here? — she fights to make her voice steady. 

— Your uncle said we can train there. 

Zuko near her growls, but Ty puts her hands on their shoulders and whispers:

— They came to watch — give them a show. 

They will get one. 

It’s like they used to play when the times were easier — all against all. It’s still easy to move around Ty, and she can feel Zuko as an extension of herself. 

Ty Lee dabs her in the pulse point on her hand and suddenly, she can’t feel it — that’s something new, and she throws her head back, laughing delightly. 

Well, Azula still has her other hand. 

She throws the lighting as precisely as always. 

— Catch!

Zuko catches and throws back. 

Ty Lee laughs, and Avatar and his group are terrified — well, that means the mission is complete. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: eating disorders
> 
> well azula is gay and she can’t function
> 
> if you’d like — please check out my mai/azula/ty lee witches au — id be really grateful 
> 
> thank u for reading and tell me what do you think about chapter or not about the chapter  
> remember to take care of yourself and stay hydrated!  
> love!!


	6. the power of youth is on my mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning in the end notes

Something about this whole meeting doesn’t sit right with her — Azula feels like everyone here knows something she doesn’t. She is perfect in reading the room — that’s something you learn, whether you want it or not. 

Generals keep throwing glances at her when they think she’s not looking. Maybe that’s all about Zuko agreeing to start discussing declaration of peace with Water tribes — she supposes it’s going to be much easier with the Avatar. 

Azula is nearly sure it’s not about that. 

One of the old ministers is speaking about the increase, but she soundly puts her pen on the table. Zuko sends her side glance and she demands. 

— What are you concealing from us, minister?

He’s silent and his eyes are running, but Azula pressures. 

— Do you want me to go to the city and find out for myself?

— Your Highness, there was an assault in the city. Nothing critical— just a few loyalists. 

Young minister, the only woman here but her, the one the scandal was about, when Azula's taken her into the council, hisses. 

— Nothing critical?! Four children are dead!

Blood pounders in her head and she hears Zuko’s short intake of breath. Azula is mad. She gets up slowly, turns her head to the old minister and says, as calm as she can. 

— I’m not planning to see you here anymore, minister. 

  
  
  
  


They have to address the problem, and the Council heavily implied they must talk with people, not from the balcony of their palace. Her head spins when she’s thinking about it. 

  
  
  
  
  


It’s the early morning when they are out of the palace — still cold from the night and blue. They walk by themselves because it’s the tradition. Azula can’t remember any of the Firelords she’d lived with following it, but that doesn’t matter now. Nothing matters, but her brother’s red eyes and she wants to do this right for him. 

_For these children._

  
  


Azula’s head is spinning. She’s not even able to protect her people — that’s not it, it happened _because_ of her — loyalists made it very clear. 

She is going to execute them, long and painfully, and she doesn’t give a fuck what Avatar thinks about it. 

_How many more funerals they are going to attend even before they come of age?_

  
  


They are going to walk through the city by foot and come to the square and speak to people and show condolences. That’s the perfect way to assassinate them, but Azula suddenly understands that she wants nothing more than these loyalists to come for her, _try her_ , because _she_ can protect herself and she wants blood. 

They will have to talk with their mothers. 

  
  


Their people are huddled up on the streets around the square, three suddenly young women with red puffy eyes in front of everyone. 

Azula suddenly wonders if they were forced to come there. She sees the same in Zuko’s face, and she understands suddenly how they look to these people, to these mothers — two expensively dressed children, so different from how their children were dressed — too living example and reminder that they are never going to see their kids again, _the reason they are never going to see their kid again._

She forcefully breathes. 

Her brother starts speaking. Only Azula standing near to him can hear the crack in his voice. 

— Me and my sister are here today to talk about what has happened here. 

Azula sees hundreds of thousands of unkind eyes. 

— But also we are here to apologize. 

She’s surprised, but not a bit as surprised as the crowd is. 

— We let you down — we had to protect you, and we’ve failed. There’s nothing that I’m sorry for more than what has happened. But I can promise you one thing — things will go different from now on. Anything you need, you can come to the palace and discuss it personally with me, or my sister. I promise you, we will try to protect you better. 

Zuko closes his eyes for a moment and she sees how tired he is, and the same chronic fatigue is mirrored in herself. Azula feels something underneath all of these — pride, pride of how far her silly brother came. 

Right. The mothers. 

Azula walks forward to them, feeling the inevitable. 

She swallows, looking at the tips at her shoes. 

— I wanted to apologize to you personally. I know that there’s nothing that I can do about your sorrow, but if any of you, or your families need anything, or any help, you can ask me. 

Hold the face, someone inside her head screams, all eyes are on you, they are tearing you apart, pull yourself together. 

Azula feels something wet and hot on her face. 

  
  
  


Someone’s soft voice answers her:

— We appreciate your proposition, your Highness, and would like to make the response one. Would you like to attend the funeral?

The proposition startles her to the core, and she can’t stop crying, but she forces the nod out of herself. 

— Thank you. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They come for her and Zuko. She’s known it’s going to happen, but that still caught her by surprise. 

Who is she lying to?

  
  
  


She doesn’t hear anything — she just feels someone’s presence behind her, like it’s getting hard to breathe and soft thump on carpet, stifling every noise. It’s the feeling that terrifies her — feeling of someone standing behind and her not being able to do anything — she’s too familiar with it. _She can’t move_. 

There is a knife on her neck and she’s freezed in terror, but her brain still works like crazy. If they came to kill, why hasn’t they done so yet? Maybe, they are doing it to blackmail Zuko, who’s sitting in front of her, terrified, knowing too — any movement and the knife slips. 

She hears a raspy, low voice. 

— Where’s the Avatar?

So that’s what they are here for. 

Azula feels the presence of a few more people behind, there must be three of them. 

  
  


It makes everything easier. 

She’s silent for a moment, considering her next movement and how it will affect her policies and slightly moves a brow. No one but Zuko will notice. 

— I’ll guide you to him. 

There were nights when she wandered — is it like that every time? Is every time you kill a person you feel weird cold nothing and the realisation hits after? 

Mai always taught her to keep a few knives in the sleeves. And Mai was taught it by life. 

They walk Azula to the door and her hands yet again are like snakes — fast, small and deadly. 

Yes, it still feels like that. 

  
  


Zuko handles the other two, but Azula looks at the blade in the neck — she doesn’t miss, never — and counts breaths. Three, and three, and then three more. 

She moves three bodies with her leg out of her way, takes Zuko’s hands and walks out. 

  
  
  


Ten minutes later, the palace buzzes with news — the Firelord and his First advisor, the Crown princess, fought off and killed three people in seven minutes. Tonight no one will sleep, and by the morning news about the assassination will be everywhere in Caldera too. 

They reach Avatar even faster. 

It’s two in the morning, she’s desperately trying to finish something and Zuko is talking with the guards, because what happened that day was unacceptable — and Azula doesn’t think she’s ever seen the monk mad — well, for any other person she would call this state annoyance — but for him it’s already rage. She snorts. 

— Why did you kill them — they came for me, I could deal with them myself! What were you even thinking about? How could you have killed three people at once without thinking?!

Azula is forcefully breathing in and out, one, two, three. 

  
  
  
  


— It’s all easy to be light and butterflies when all you do is travel and attend the festivities around the country — but being the ruler means making a choice and carrying responsibility. You’re calling me a monster, but these people had blood on their hands — what would you do if I forced you to make a decision for me — if you were the one who had to talk with these mothers with hollow eyes, mm, Avatar? That’s right, you can run away from your problems — we have nowhere to run. 

These filths have threatened the lives of my people — and I protect my people to the last breath. Don’t try me, Avatar. You’ve seen what I can do.

He’s looking at her with his annoyingly huge eyes, and if he’s going to cry right now, she’s going to snap, because tomorrow she’s attending the funeral of kids she hasn’t protected good enough and she hasn’t seen Ty Lee for a two days and Mai for a year, and she wants sleep so so _so_ much, and one of her sleeves is suspiciously red…

She thought _Avatar_ was going to cry. 

He keeps silent and leaves her office. 

She has a funeral to get ready for. 

  
  
  
  
  


It’s different from all the funerals she’s ever attended, but Azula supposes it’s different from the Firelords’ ones. People who are here cared about these children, that’s why they came. 

Their mothers weren’t able to afford separate so the ceremony is united. 

There are a lot of flowers and she feels so out of place, so she grips her brother’s hand publicly, again.

The Avatar and his group are here too, and she absentmindedly wonders what they are doing here, but she’s too tired and sad, to be mad. It feels like being a child again — not being able to feel so many emotions in one moment, so you just feel one at the time. 

Waterbender is suddenly talking to one of the mothers, carefully, softly, holding one of her hands. Azula hears something she’s saying to her:

— And make sure she drinks a lot — when fever breaks, please immediately send for me, I’ll be there as soon as possible. 

Azula is not given enough time to think about it, because there’s the Avatar in front of her. 

— I wanted to apologize to you. I understand that I don’t get all of your decisions as a leader, and can’t understand some of your motives because I don’t see the whole picture. 

  
Azula is shaken, but she forces herself look him straight into eyes. 

He bows to her — slowly, formally, and she bows back. 

  
  


— Your apology is accepted, Avatar. 

  
  
  
  
  


It’s so much later that night when she’s sitting with Zuko at the balcony — hearing the sounds and the lights and the smells of the city in front of them — their city that never sleeps, full and buzzling even in the night. 

Azula looks at him, quiet and sleepy and tells him:

— Mai is coming back. 

And suddenly he’s not sleepy anymore. 

  
  
  


They are waiting for her ship — three of them, Azula, Zuko and Ty Lee, and it feels terribly like the last time. 

Mai steps on the land, as graceful as ever and Ty Lee sways them all into the hug. 

Azula feels the betrayal smile slip and closes her eyes, feeling her brother’s hand on her shoulder, Ty Lee’s hairs in her nose and the bump of Mai’s forehead against hers. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: death
> 
> we’re close to the end!  
> im not fully sure that I’m content how this turned out, but I’ve rewritten it three times and maybe I’ll keep editing I don’t know. 
> 
> right now I’m at the lowest I’ve been for a long time and I feel really down like the only things that keep me going is the dynasty and my brother like💀 so I really need these comments now
> 
> thank you so much for reading, please know I appreciate you very much and don’t forget to take care of yourself!


	7. sneaking out and looking for a taste of real life

Uncle’s presence unsettles Azula. She works hard to not show it. 

That’s what he’s here for, isn’t he? Uncle is waiting for them to slip, to fail, and when it happens he’ll be right there — lend a helping hand, take them off the throne. Zuko is safe in this situation, she supposes — Uncle finds weird delight in him, always had, but she can’t say that about her. Azula will be put far far away, as something undelightful. That is how their family always solved their problems — looking away from them. If no one can see the problem, it’s not here. 

And Zuko without her won’t be safe, because Uncle doesn’t know how to protect, so Azula makes sure her hands don’t move in his presence, counts steady even breath and forcefully doesn’t look at Uncle’s hands, like she doesn’t await sharp movements. 

It’s much worse with Zuko. He still flinches whenever Uncle makes fast or even unexpected movements, especially if there aren't a lot of people around. Azula can’t judge him, because she’s weak herself — even if Uncle doesn’t have any title superiority over her, the moment he appears in the room it gets harder for her to breath. At least he doesn’t have the audacity to come to the meetings. 

  
  
  


Well, at least they are closing to the decision — what to do with Water Tribes. Water kids keep pushing cooperation to her — but what can these people, living in the snow and not letting their women fight, give to her country? Azula keeps that to herself, because the Waterbender gets dangerously red every time Azula says something about the tribes. Even if that’s so entertaining. 

She has much more present problems — lack of the resources. There is enough money, but there is not enough to solve the problems. Azula and Zuko spend the evenings trying to make something out of it — no matter how you put it, Firenation needs a new source of income. And she still has no idea where they are going to find it. 

The divisions of wounded soldiers are coming back each day, more and more. There are one who went there as young boys, and came back still as boys, but the broken ones. 

People keep coming for pension, but Azula is glad — that means, at least someone in this wrecked country will get money. She’s fully content to sit with numeration, because numbers are easy, they just sum up and don’t talk, and don’t  _ await  _ anything from her. 

  
  
  


One morning, she’s having breakfast with Ty Lee and Mai, and she’s drinking her cold tea — it’s better that way, shut up Zuko, — and feels surprisingly good, like she hasn’t woken up because there were hair in her mouth, because Ty Lee, can you please at least put your hair up when you’re going to bed, because even Mai does, oh spirits. Or maybe because she has. 

Ty is doing one of her ridiculous things, like humming something under her nose, or tapping her nails in an annoyingly catching motive, and talking about some unimportant stuff with Mai. 

Azula is trying to catch up to their conversation and she doesn’t really get the pattern for a while. Oh, she’s teasing her. Ty turns her suddenly flushed face to Azula and says:

— Do you know that Mai has a boyfriend?

What she’s taking her revenge for?

Mai rolls her eyes a little — that means, she’s embarrassed and maybe shy. 

She talks much more since she’s back — and since Mai knows she’s not going to New Ozai in close future, or more endearing, never. 

— Of course I do — I’ve known for eternity actually. Haven’t you, Ty?

Of course Azula knows. Zuko spends his time somewhere and comes back completely useless and light. Does everyone there think she’s blind?

Ty totally finds her pleasure in tormenting Mai and giggles loudly, so Azula stifles something bursting inside her at the sounds and wonders what Mai could’ve said to switch Ty into a fighting mode. 

  
  


She starts picking up her papers because it’s time to go already — today’s meeting is one of the most important in the last few weeks. 

The delegation from the Earth Kingdom is coming and Azula is firmly set on working something out. 

She turns her head to the girls, and asks, a little hesitantly:

— Do you have something to do for today?

  
  


Servants walk in to get her ready — she has to be more than perfect today, so she finishes her tea and pushes her hair back: the sign they can get started, silent and careful as always. It’s different from the silence that was there with the last Firelord. They just know what their lady likes — how she prefers her tea, her hair and the temperature in her rooms. That is much easier that way, when Azula knows that people that have the entry into her bedroom are not going to put poison in her tea with fifty percent confidence. 

— Not really. Need us somewhere?

Mai is glad to get away from Ty who just started enjoying herself, she sees it. But Azula is also glad that she doesn’t need to explain anything with them. 

— It’s going to be messy today — not too much, real fun will start on the second week of negotiations, but I’ll need someone to watch out for our guests from the Earth Kingdom. 

They understand what she’s trying to get from them — sit with me in the war room and be my eyes and observe the situation when I can’t see. 

Azula is so, so glad she doesn’t need to explain her weakness. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The delegations walk in and she keeps a polite cold smile glued to her face. 

Bunch of the old men, like she supposed. Azula doesn’t even get her hopes up that they will be done with it soon — she knows too well, how long negotiations like that last. 

_ What Uncle is doing there _

He walks to her and Zuko, passing his place — no one ever takes this place on the councils, no matter how much she rages about that, — leans in to give some papers to her — they don’t even have any business together, what’s that about, — and says, as light as feather:

— They're going to give you a hard time. One of the kings is with them, even if not everyone knows that. He came to me yesterday and tried to push his conditions to me. Get ready. 

He leaves, until it gets too suspicious.

  
  


Azula grips the edge of the chair under the table so hard her knuckles whiten. 

Mai rubs her wrist. She breathes. Zuko stares at his hands on the table. 

Azula opens her mouth to greet everyone and announce the start of the negotiations, but she’s interrupted again. The Avatar stands in the doorway and she forces the angry groan down. Azula looks at Zuko — is he planning to do anything at all, but Zuko is still shaken from the encounter with Uncle so it looks like she has to do everything herself. 

She turns her eyes to the Avatar, waiting for an explanation — how dares he walk in while they are working, for the  _ peace _ that actually was his idea?

  
  


Kid just bows to the politicians from the Earth Kingdom and takes a place between them and Zuko and Azula. 

Azula sees her brother straining himself from breathing the steam out of his nostrils. 

The worst in this situation is that she can’t show that it wasn’t something she planned so the forced, polite smile goes back and Azula gives a nod. 

  
  


Avatar clearly doesn’t take a hint and leans in, whispering:

— Your uncle said I have to sit there or the Earth Kingdom won’t listen to you. 

  
  


Does he think it’s like a bonding moment? How dares he smile at her?

  
  


She breathes out, Zuko gets up and announces the start in the strained voice. 

Azula will be happy to see how the Avatar handles it. 

  
  
  


It drags even harder than usual — one of the ambassadors is talking already for three hours. Something about the borders and sanctions and the trade policy: everything that will be even worse for her people. His speech is sprinkled with words about international relations and cooperation but she doesn’t need to listen too hard to make out the main point — you either do everything on our conditions, or we stop supply from the colonies. 

Everyone sees it — Ty is close to scowling, Mai’s brows are closer to each other than usual, and she’s glad that at least Zuko is keeping a face. 

  
  


The Avatar is nearly asleep in his place — she stops herself from scoffing — how pathetic he is?

Azula wonders if he ever took part in political negotiations before. It doesn’t seem that way but it can’t be possible, can it?

  
  


She wonders which of the ambassadors is the King. Azula knows that in the Earth Kingdom there is the king nearly in every big city, but still. 

He keeps talking, clearly enjoying the sound of his own voice, and keeps talking for a few more hours. Azula is back to observing other guests — they all look composed, but that's a pretty common trait for a politician.

Avatar near her starts wiggling in his place. 

  
  


Azula feels the sun setting outside, breathes, gets up and gives the talking ambassador a polite nod. 

— We are grateful for your attendance. Thank you for your ideas, Ambassador Ming. We’ll be awaiting you at the same time the following day. 

Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee get up and they walk out, bowing to the delegation. 

  
  


Avatar quickly jumps up and follows them. Outside he catches up to them, runs around Azula and starts shooting her the questions.

— What was that about? Nothing was even decided! You haven’t even said something, how are you all planning to change things, if everyone keeps silent?!

She pushes the groan down. 

— The negotiations haven’t even started, Avatar. That was just a prelude. The real talk is going to start in the second week.

  
  


He is clearly taken aback with it, lost. Zuko near her is surprised. 

— How do you not know that? Have you ever even taken part in the negotiations?

The Avatar flushes, looking at the tip of his shoes. 

She had enough. 

— Let’s go, brother, we’re going to be late. 

  
  
  
  


When they are back to the rooms, her head is buzzing and there is dull pain in the back of it. Azula just hopes that it's not another migraine. 

She feels someone’s cold hand in her hair, on the top of her neck. It feels better so she squeezes Mai’s other hand gratefully and closes her eyes in pleasure. 

  
  


Ty opens the big windows to the balcony and Zuko takes his hair out of the formal Phoenix tail and messes it with his fingers. 

The room fills up with the sounds of her city — sounds that help her fall asleep every night, signs of unrequited, never stopping life. She suddenly craves it so much — the streets, and the lights Azula can see from the balcony. 

Ty gets it, gets her, so she gets up, runs around the table and ruffles Zuko’s hair. 

— We’re going out! Zuko, go and change, and we’re gonna get ready as girls here. 

He chuckles, softly, but goes to his room, because no one can resist Ty Lee, and Azula is sure he doesn’t want to. 

  
  
  


Ty giggles, sits Mai at Azula's vanity and Azula herself gives in to the mood, so she stands at the other side. 

Ty starts brushing Mai’s hair and is chirpy as ever. 

— Let’s have your hair down so Zuko will lose his mind when he sees you!

— You don’t need to do this, he already does when she’s as much as breathes. 

Mai looks at her, annoyed, but Azula sees that the tips of her ears are red. 

  
  


Ty Lee helps her apply the lipstick and she’s dangerously close to her face, so Azula is enveloped in her scent and it suddenly gets so hot around. Ty wipes the excess on the edge of her lip and everywhere where her fingers were is on fire. 

Ty whispers her in the ear:

— Look stunning today, Princess. 

She hopes her face isn’t as red as it feels. 

  
  
  
  
  


Well, Zuzu definitely loses his shit when he sees Mai with her hair down. He stumbles, opens his mouth, then closes it and is clearly trying to say something. The back of his neck is red. 

Ty giggles, content with her work and Azula rolls her eyes. He’s a mess. 

  
  
  


Streets are full of the merchants, singers, trying to make money and performers even in the night. Azula takes one look at it, at the lanterns and the endless spring sky and knows. This is the Fire Nation she lives for — this, not the prudent advisors, stiff nobles and the line of the portraits of the ex Fire Lords. For the narrow dirty streets, loud and full, for the laughing child somewhere, who doesn’t want to be taken home yet, for the women bickering from their windows in front of each other, and yelling at the merchant whose cart is right under her window. This is life. 

Ty laces her fingers with her and whispers her in the ear:

— Don’t zone out. Mai and Zuko are clearly busy with each other, and I want fire flakes. 

They go to merchant, and Azula purposefully buys the most spicy ones, because she’s just feeling like that today 

(and ty looks like mooselion cub when she’s wrinkles and sneezes)

  
  
  
  
  


That night, when they get back just a few hours before the sunrise, they fall on her bed and Ty drapes her arms around both of them and keeps complaining about Azula’s cold legs ( her hair is still everywhere), but Mai is silent this time. She keeps staring at the ceiling, but when Azula has nearly drifted to sleep, she hears a long sigh. 

— If you keep being so soundly in love, I’m going to kick you out. 

Mai shoves a pillow at her. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Next morning, when Azula walks into the meeting room, Avatar is already here. Well, that means he is at least determined. Or someone forced him in, because he looks like he would like to be anywhere but here. 

Oh, the peasants are here too, today. They get bolder each day, she supposes. Azula has to do something with it, but now she needs to concentrate on the Earth Kingdom delegation. Something tells her that today is going to be the day they say their real conditions, because she doesn’t believe anything they were reporting yesterday. 

  
  


It drags again. Servants walk in to pour the tea, her is already cold, and the ambassadors are very careful around them, because Azula is sure that everyone heard what the Fire Lord does with the ones who are cruel with his staff. 

Azula is already nearly sure she knows who is the king — when something is said, everyone from the delegation checks out his — if they were trying to keep him incognito, that was a pretty pathetic attempt. 

She’s out of her thoughts suddenly, because one phrase wakes her up immediately. 

— There is no more necessity for Fire Nation citizens to continue residing in the colonies, so we’re giving the opportunity to go back to native lands. 

Azula loses breath for a moment, but Zuko announces her rage. 

— What is the meaning of your words, Ambassador Ming? These people have been living in these territories for more than one hundred years already. More than half of them live there for several generations. And most importantly, the main part of them are farmers and provide the Fire Nation with food. 

She already knows what is going to be next. 

— We came to the decision that the Earth Kingdom is no more in the need for merchandise with the Fire Nation, your Majesty . 

  
  


Here it is. 

She’s careful about her rage showing when she speaks. 

— You’re aware, ambassador, that by declining us the supply of provision, you dissolve the treaty?

Azula doesn’t say it aloud, but everyone hears it. 

The Waterbender shrieks:

— You can’t go back to the war!

Ambassador Ming bares his teeth — was that supposed to be a smile?

— Of course no — that’s why we came to the condition. King Bao sends his best wishes and makes a proposition — to ensure the treaty with a… marriage. He proposes to you the hand of his daughter and the cooperation of the nations. 

  
  


So that’s what all of it was about. Of course. Dragging reports and the secret visit of the king. Azula is so mad at herself for not figuring it out. 

Mai near her is paler than usual. She feels her grip the armrest of her chair. Zuko’s eyes are wide when he realizes that he is being proposed. Looks like no one is going to speak. 

How dares he come to her home, furtively, like a coward and give her conditions?

— I have to announce that your proposition can’t come to success, because the Fire Lord is already engaged. 

Ty Lee snorts, peasants are in different states of shock and the delegation is enraged. 

— Well, that means that there isn’t going to be a treaty, your Royal Highness. 

Uh, she had enough. Her head hurts again and all Azula wants is to sit with Ty Lee at the balcony and Mai’s cold hands in her hair. 

— Don’t try this, Ambassador. This won’t work out — we are going to finish the treaty as I said. I know how to deal with kings. 

She looks him directly in the eyes — this is an open threat. Avatar’s eyes snap open, horrified. 

Well, if he realized something — bad for him. 

— And while I’m giving you time to think about, I propose to continue our negotiations the next day. 

She’s sure it will go as smoothly as possible from now on. 

  
  
  


Azula is the last one left in the meeting room, hands on her eyes, finishing with some papers, when someone bumps in, soundly.

Oh, the Beifong girl. She’s already had enough for today of Avatar and his group. At the back of her mind she wonders why she wasn’t at the meeting today — it looks like they always drag everywhere together. 

Beifong flops down at the cushion near her and puts her dirty little feet on the low table. 

— Name me at least one reason why I shouldn’t call for the guards right now?

— You wouldn’t need it. 

  
  
  


Azula  _ snorts _ . 

Toph starts biting her nails, then quits and looks directly at Azula’s face with her big white eyes. Unsettling. 

— I came to say that my friends are dumb. 

Well, it’s not like she doesn’t agree, but she’s surprised. 

— It’s like they are blind, not me. They don’t see that you are just protecting your family. Parents suck anyway. 

In a moment she’s gone and Azula is left with her astonishment. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well im kind happy how it worked out because the Fire children dynamics were one of the main reasons I started writing this  
> the next chapter is going to be the least ig and will have the azula & iroh so stay tuned
> 
> my birthday is coming (this bitch is going to be 15 can u believe it I can’t) and im still so wrapped in the school work so I don’t really know when the final chapter is going to come maybe next week maybe next month who knows
> 
> anyways I wanted to say that I appreciate you all so much and please take care of yourself!!


	8. when i was old

The morning that day is clear and soundless, all fragile and crispy, strangely white. Azula tries very hard to not to fumble this feeling and keep it with her for a little longer, hide it somewhere inside her, carry through the day full of excess and empty words, strange twitching of life, through the routine and whispers behind her back. 

  
  


She stretches her hands up for the last time, gets up and goes starting her day. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Azula keeps telling herself that all she needs is to wait for a little, and then, everything finally will be different: when Avatar leaves, and the treaty is signed, when her nation is fine, when she grows up. And then she is going to sleep as much as she wants, take as much time off as she wants. She just needs to wait. That’s one of the things she was taught — to wait. 

  
  


She is finishing with some documents, fully content — the delegation from the Earth Kingdom left, not even daring to object to the new conditions she put into the treaty at the last moment. Any citizens that  _ want _ to stay in the colonies, are staying there, and the trade between the nations keep going, even stronger now. The first fruits from the agreement are going to come very soon. Does she feel any guilt at all? No. Because soon the wave of fresh crops is going to come to the markets. 

Azula hears someone coughing behind her back, and she startles, then she’s mad at herself for startling, and only then she turns back to see. She acknowledges. 

— Uncle. 

The old man sit down on the place near her, holding his stupid tea kettle in his hands and nods. 

— Good morning, niece. 

She’s trying to cover the reports and documents with her sleeve. She don’t need him to notice any mistake and think she’s incompetent. 

— Care joining me for tea?

— You’ve come here yourself. 

He chuckles, not mad even for a moment. 

She’s hyper aware of him pouring the extra hot liquid — she can’t drink her tea like that, but Uncle can’t know that because it’s pathetic for a firebender, so she lifts the cup and puts it to her mouth. Tea bites her tongue and it’s numb for a moment, but she keeps her face steady. 

— Something you wanted to discuss with me, Uncle? If it’s something political, you’re better talk to my dearest brother. If it’s something personal — too. 

He chuckles like he certainly knows that she does the main part of politics there. 

— I wanted to talk with you about the negotiations.

Azula feels her fingers tense on the cup and makes sure her breathing doesn’t get faster than it should. 

— You handled everything very well, my dear niece. I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. 

Well, that was unexpected. Azula scolds herself for the sharp intake of breath she let slip, but politely nods her head. Of course she knows she was good. If she wasn’t, her brother would be married away and her nation shipped off. 

  
  


Well, if Uncle is willing to listen, she can speak. Considering no one here wants to talk politics with her. Last time she tried it sitting on the bed with girls, Ty Lee threw her brush at her. 

— I persuaded the Ambassador into  _ agreeing  _ to my conditions. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Avatar in the doorway has the audacity to look betrayed, on the verge of crying. 

She’s furious at herself, going all soft and forgetting there are outsiders in the palace, forgetting who  _ Uncle are _ ,.. Has Uncle himself invited Avatar to sneak on her while he’s distracting her? 

Old man looks as surprised as she feels, but that all can be a foil. Avatar’s group is here too, but they couldn’t just have come to say their goodbyes to her, because she’s fully sure their departure is going to be equally pleasant for both sides. 

— You’ve changed the conditions of the treaty — secretly, not telling anyone? How could you? The Earth Kingdom has been starving because of you for ages, and because of it will keep starving!

  
  


Exactly how annoying one person can be?

Uncle opens his mouth to probably say something, but she was asked, and she’s going to answer the question so this masquerade of pretending Agni knows what finally ends

— The Earth Kingdom has been starving because of war, not because of me. I would like to remind you that the delegation of ambassadors already left fully content with the conditions. 

  
  


Waterbending peasant looks at her like Azula personally killed her favourite pet and then put the body in front of her window. 

— Because you’ve threatened to kill him! How can you do politics with threats?

Spirits, she had enough. The Water Tribe treaty has been signed, and Azula wants them to leave from her palace  _ right now _ . 

— Ambassador Ming insulted my family with this proposition. That was the only way — believe me, I have quite an experience with dealing with monarchs who don’t listen to no one but them. 

She’s doing that only for them to fucking finally get a hint and leave, because there is strange wave of nausea in her throat. 

Avatar jumps away from her, his eyes huge and full of something glistening. Azula feels like she’s going to be sick. 

— You..  _ You _ have killed him!

Azula is hyper aware again of Uncle’s presence behind her back. 

She scowls, wishes desperately Zuko was here and clutches her sleeve between finger, focusing on not burning it. 

— You better leave, Avatar. Our negotiation work has ended and you have no business here. Go leave and work on the peace in the world. 

  
  


She leaves the war room, desperately trying not to vomit in front of all of them. 

  
  
  


Azula tries to move her limbs, but they just don’t listen to her. The world gets loud and there is pressure in her ears. Room around her spins, she’s hysterically trying to breathe, and then, there is nothing, sweet nothing. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


She remains in a strange dark fog for a long time — or not, it’s not like she can judge. Azula flows through discontinuous fever, drowning in the mess of colors — or they are sounds? — it’s hard to guess. 

It’s so easy and pleasant to finally be no one and nowhere, surrounded only by nothing. 

  
  


Somewhere on the outskirts of her mind there are sounds — Mother’s voice, gurgling of the pond, hands brushing the hair, singing — something from far away, from the childhood, maybe from the womb — maybe she’s in the womb right now, and everything was a dream: long, colorful and scary. 

  
  
  


When Azula wakes up, there is pressure on her hand and pleasant cold wind, brushing softly on her forehead on the pillow (silk — good for hair) and night outside in the open window. She moves her fingers slightly and understands that she can’t. Her hand is folded in both Zuko’s. Dum-Dum is seated on the floor, leaning on the bed with his head on the mattress. And asleep. 

Her limbs aren’t quite listening to her yet and the world is a little blurry, but Azula is suddenly okay. Maybe that’s what she needed — a little nap. She lifts her head in an attempt to understand if her neck is moving, but Zuko’s eyes snap open and he jumps up a little, suddenly awake. 

— Lala, — he breathes out. 

He looks at her with something in his eyes that makes her want to do a lot of things at once —get under her blanket, cry or hide her head under his chin like she’s been doing since she learned to stand. It suddenly strucks her how he’s sitting in the exactly same position like she sat after the Agni Kai. 

Something inside her tightens. 

_ Don’t cry _

  
  


— You scared me. 

Azula chuckles. 

— The whole negotiation thing turned out to be more tiring than I thought. I just needed a nap. 

He squeezes her hand. 

— Azula, you were out for three days. The moment you are ready to travel, we are leaving for a few days somewhere far away — where you are going to sleep well, spend a lot of time outside and get better. — he doesn’t even let her open her mouth to object, — Don’t even try it, Lala, or I let Ty Lee in, and believe me, she’s raging because you don’t take care of yourself. 

Azula pales a little. 

  
  


She’s quick to change the subject. 

— Avatar left?

— Soon after you were out. He’s terrified of you, but I think in a healthy amount. 

The tips of his lips quirk up. 

Avatar is somewhere out there, thinking (knowing) that she’s killed the last Firelord, and how messed up all the system here is — there’s no right, no white and black, and in the end, everyone ends up wrong and deadly tired. Well, she at least hopes he knows it. 

— And the Beifong girl ordered me to tell you — she’s not leaving, she’s actually going to stick around and thinking about paying you a visit. 

Azula is torn between being terrified and snorting. 

— Let’s go, I want you to breathe for a while and show you something. 

Zuko helps her to get up and gives her temple a careful peck, light as a feather. 

  
  


and then Ty tackles her and she’s crying, all raw emotion. Mai rubs her hand, and Azula is close to crying herself, because Mai is raw emotion too. 

  
  


All she does for a few first moments at the balcony is devouring night heady air, full of smells of coming spring and the city before her feet. 

  
  


— Caldera is celebrating the treaty today, — he whispers to her in the ear. 

Azula sees it herself. This is the city she’s seen bleed, this is the city that has seen her bleed. Now it’s like a huge creature, contentedly curled up down there — many-legged, ancient, wonderfully alive, breathing the night air in. 

  
  


She feels her brother taking her hand and Ty’s head on her shoulder and sees Mai’s fingers intertwined with Zuko. 

They are not normal, they are  _ definitely  _ not okay, and she doesn’t know if they are going to be soon, but she hopes that  _ one day _ , maybe they will 

Azula wears broad ribbons under her clothes, hiding her scars, and Mai wears ribbons made of steel under hers. Ty Lee wakes up every night, crying and not seeing, clutching Azula’s night robes and Zuko wears a cruel reminder on his face. 

  
  
  


They are not okay, but now finally it’s okay to not to be, and that means something definitely is ahead. 

Caldera is full of lights. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh so that’s kinda it???? 
> 
> im so deeply grateful for everyone who’s been reading and commenting, you can’t even imagine. it was real live saviour this times 
> 
> and i loved every piece of writing these
> 
> [ azula: out for four days  
> also azula: well you know people need to sleep sometimes it’s healthy]
> 
> im for sure going to continue writing in this verse and I’m already have a few one-shots planned  
> (thinking about finding ursa sequel but who knows...)
> 
> and i already have new au’s plot planned out so stay tuned so much love for you all!!!
> 
> 17/01 also! i made tumblr but I’m fuckin horrible in social media concept (i forget about them), so I nearly sure I’m not going to post anything, but!! if you want to talk shit, or just talk, or you have something to say about my works — you’re more than welcome i swear
> 
> https://seperent.tumblr.com/


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